No, it actually starts earlier, much earlier. What happens is that when they´re 11 we start realizing we have to step aside and let them go.
He tells me he doesn´t want to have his hair cut for a while: ‘it´s better this way, mom’. Then, the other day the two girls who came in here go into his room where he´s playing video games with the other boys, and say ‘wow, your room is so cool!!!’.
I can´t take him to the dentist anymore. I have to meet him there. And while I´m waiting I peek out the window and watch him coming, crossing the street and walking as if he were some sort of character in the video game of his life: fearless, bold, and free. Yes, I think we believe in that sort of freedom when we´re 11.
Some relative asks me, ‘don´t you miss the baby?’ . To tell the truth, no, I don´t. I loved him when he was a baby, but I love to watch him become this imaginative, sometimes absent-minded, but nonetheless caring and affectionate young man. His beautiful personality emerging and making me smile.
I have to confess, though, that many times I hesitate. When he said I didn´t need to pick him up at soccer practice the other day, I was silent for a few seconds. Then, his dad , realizing my silence, said ‘ok, you´ll come back by yourself then’. I thank him for that. He did what I was reluctant to do, but needed to be done. I´m not over-protective: we live in a violent country, where crack-addicted teens will beat a young boy up to steal his pair of sneakers. Sad, but true. On the other hand, my husband is right again when he says that one day our son will have to learn to take care of himself out there, and it´s about time he started.
One day he tells me he wants to be a scientist , the other day he tells me he wants to be an actor. I tell him he needs to be a good human being in whatever career he chooses to follow. Really, that´s what I expect from my kids, that they become good human beings. He looks at me and says: ‘I knew you were going to say that, mom’. Big smile on my face, I hug and kiss him. Go on, my son, my beautiful boy. Go and live.
6 comments:
Yes Lu, it starts from 11 and it reaches at the pick at 17. I am facing this, rather enjoying this in better words.It is wonderful to see our replica and to hear known words and thoughts of wisdom from our flesh and blood.
Oh, I remember me and my dad when I was 17...;-)He used to call me 'jaguatirica'(wild cat).
Does your daughter use your own words on you? You look like a very proud dad!:-)
[I had posted a response and it disappeared...what´s going on?] Anyway, Dr. J, what I had said before is that I remember my relationship with my own dad when I was 17. He used to call me 'wild cat' (jaguatirica), just to give you an idea...;-)
I had also said that you look like a caring dad.
That´s all that stays, after all, isn´t that? Love.
I can read both of your comments. Yes it gives feeling of proud when she tells me words of wisdom, calming down,take things easily.But what is best is her sense of seeing reality of this universe, understanding the truth behind religious and social things and importance of money-wealth in its real way,the most valued heritage from me,in my opinion.
Being beautiful human beings-that's the best we can hope for with our children. Well said, Lu. That's what I want for mine as well and tell them so.
Your son sounds like he's well on his way!
Hi Dorraine! Nice to hear from you! My fault: my inet time has been scarce lately.
I´m sure you´re doing a good job with your girls (they´re all girls, aren´t they?). They have your example. :-)
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