Children need a lot of appreciation, but they also need limits, so that they develop empathy. A big problem we face today as a society is that parents and teachers are confused about their role so, children suffer. Anxious, depressed, and sad kids are being misdiagnosed for mental disorders and treated for things they don´t have, when what they really needed was attention and care. On the other hand, children who need medical treatment are being neglected and taken as "incorrectable little monsters".
A child is a joy. A sometimes exhausting, irritating, time-consuming joy, but nonetheless a joy. Watching them grow ( be them our own or a friend´s or a family member´s ) is the most wonderful moment in the experience of being human. They take us back to our inner child and make us see life in a whole different way, because priorities change. The trust they put on us should never be broken.
Adults don´t have and shouldn´t have all the answers and children know that. What kids really want and we can certainly give them is all our love. Without "ifs" and "maybes". Unconditionally.
Despite a great loss I experienced in childhood, I remember it as a happy one. Thanks to the adults who were there for me.
5 comments:
I appreciate your essay very much, Lu. It’s important for we, as a world, (and it sounds like for you especially in Brazil) to be attentive to our children’s needs. It seems the awareness is there, but what is happening, do you suppose? Are parents competing with technology? I wonder what exactly the disconnect is? We have a lot of issues here too and often it is around parents that are not available to help their children with homework and such because they have to sometimes work two jobs and then little time is leftover. I wholeheartedly agree with you about children suffering for the reasons you give. When I took the speech class, a young girl gave a powerful presentation that revolved around her little brother and how a doctor tried to put him on medication for Attention Deficit Disorder. I don’t know who names these. To be brief, they were an Iranian family, and I don’t know if this had to do with how they reacted, but they were not going to just accept the diagnosis at face value. They did some research on their own and found alternative methods of dealing with the situation and never put the boy on medication—thank goodness. Some were dietary and some were behavioral. I don’t remember the specifics. They saw a gradual positive effect in the brother’s behavior. I was so pleased to hear her story because I, like you, feel that doctors and people in authoritative positions are too quick to find quick solutions that don’t address the underlying problem.
I think it’s wonderful that you have a children’s day in Brazil.
Thanks for sharing, Lu. Those are great photos of you as a youngster. What a cutie!
Lu,
I love all the photos, but the fourth one down in black and white is my very favorite! You look so serious and mischievous. If you write your memoir, I'd like to see the photo on the cover of your book.
Rebb, what I observe is that many people have children because they want to be like everybody else. To be a parent for them means to "have" children, but not necessarily to look after them. Of course many people need to work full time, but what I see is more in the sense of responsibility and pleasure to be with their kids. And because they made such a big "investiment", their children should be perfect... Sad, but true. I observe that a lot in my children´s school.
I´m glad for the boy you mentioned and his family.:-)
Hahaha! Keiko, I remember when that photo was taken. It was one of my "jaguatirica" (ocelot) moments, as my father used to say.
Thanks for explaining what you see, Lu. That is sad that children are seen as an “investment” and also that people seem to have children to “be like everybody else.” The world can be a strange place. :)
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